you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
