Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
