Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
