Buhtt sex?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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