I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
