Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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