Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize