Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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