Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
