Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
