I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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