am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
