Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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