normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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