idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
