I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
...so i touched it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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