so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
