and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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