his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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