TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
