theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
