just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
