How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
