At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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