I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
