So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
