her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize