i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize