i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Drake has all the answers
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
