i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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