My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
