The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
