Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
