It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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