People with herpes should wear stickers.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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