so that wasnt chicken after all
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
