um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize