Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
