Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
