He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
