I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
