I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please, let me fuck your mom
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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