honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
