barbara walters just said penis...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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