that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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