Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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