"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
