I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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