I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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