So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just found a bag of teeth...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
