I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
