32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
