batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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