Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
