ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
