I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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