margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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