Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
