He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
try to milk me bitch
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
