Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Say something about gay babies.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
