He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
