at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
