there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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