Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
