There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
