Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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