He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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