i don't like sucking hair
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
